The Approval-Seeking Achiever

You’ve likely spent much of your life focusing on others’ needs, striving to fit in and gain validation, but deep down, you struggle with a sense of not being enough. The external focus on making others happy or meeting expectations has led you to neglect your own needs, leaving you disconnected from your sense of self. Your worth seems to depend on what others think of you, which leaves you constantly seeking approval and never truly feeling validated from within.

For example, you might find yourself agreeing to take on extra work, even when you’re already stretched thin, because you want to make sure your colleagues or loved ones see you as reliable or helpful. Or you might feel anxious if someone is upset with you, even if the situation isn't your fault, because you fear rejection or disapproval. You’re constantly adjusting your behavior to meet others' expectations, often at the cost of your own well-being.

As a high achiever, you’ve mastered the art of giving—whether it's your time, energy, or effort—but you often find it hard to receive. This self-sacrifice comes from a place of low self-worth and low self-esteem, and the constant striving for acceptance and belonging is exhausting.

You may find yourself in relationships where you give and give, but never quite feel appreciated or seen for who you truly are. No matter how much you do, it feels like it’s never enough, leaving you feeling empty and drained.

Your anxiety response is rooted in the fear of not measuring up or being rejected. Your nervous system might shift into a state of freeze or fawn, where you feel compelled to people-please or accommodate others at the expense of your own well-being. This pattern keeps you stuck in a cycle of trying to gain external validation, but never fully satisfying that inner need for self-worth. Your body might feel tense, restless, and overwhelmed, as the stress of constantly trying to meet others' needs takes its toll.